Written on the Inside

Posted on May 12, 2010


I’m going to try this again. I think. I don’t know how motivated I am yet, or how much I want to be reminded about my unfinished-projects-that-will-save-the-world, or whether I want everyone to know how ridiculous I am beneath the image of grace and intelligence that I so consistently project. Okay, I’m definitely going to do it. It’s healthy to laugh so hard you can’t breathe every once in awhile. I bet you feel better too after that grace/intelligence bit.

Today I talked with my sister Mary, who is a hoot. In-between the lively dialogue that is her life with 4 preschool girls, we chatted about all sorts of things. The real estate business they’re getting into with the mentor who just … appeared, and the fact that you can create some amazing win-wins with people whose backs are against the wall, because they’re motivated to think creatively. The visit from a worldwide religious leader who asked a group of local leaders to share with him a scripture they had memorized because it would tell him what they were working on personally, and then when one responded with a weak description of a text, he said, with emphasis, “NEVER paraphrase the Lord.”

Interspersed with the work I’ve been doing this morning, I’ve been thinking about what motivates me. I recently began running again, after four months of thinking about it. What tipped the scales? (hee hee hee) Was it knowing that my family history of heart disease was starting to nip at my heels? Was it the onslaught of summer and the inability to hide in soft sweaters? Was it a desire to hike without feeling like a gorilla was sitting on my chest? Nope. I went to a “this is what we did” session for a young friend who recently returned from a service trip to India, and I realized with a deep and profound yearning, that I wanted a salwar kameez.

See? Exposed myself there. Frivolous Fashionista. But it’s the gospel truth; that’s what did it. I plan to live in India in the coming years, and work there, and I have for quite some time. I plan to walk where I need to go, eat what is eaten, and wear what is worn. And I love the salwar kameez. But it doesn’t look good on round people.

I have had all kinds of reasons to want to be healthy, but that was the one that worked for me, so I formed a plan. One hour of alternating running and walking, four times a week, a healthy diet, and a goal: 50 pounds lighter and the ability to run for an hour, by my 44th birthday. It’s printed on the inside of my soul like a scripture I liked well enough to memorize.

As I consider motivating others, I realize that it’s a matter of what they’ve memorized. What floats through their heads, connects with their souls, and sticks enough that it’s printed inside somewhere? Motivation has taken on a whole new feel. There’s no paraphrasing when someone’s really motivated.

I don’t have time to craft something funny on a daily basis, because I’m not motivated to do that anymore, although I might occasionally indulge in a deep belly laugh at my own silliness. I don’t have any particular reason to build the professional brand that evangelizes my skills, and my friends would likely find it boring. But I will do this blog thing again for awhile because I am motivated to record a few of my thoughts for my kids’ sake (and they like computers better than books.) You’re welcome to come along for the ride.

I am a little curious about what’s stuck to your soul and printed inside … wanna comment?

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