Browsing All posts tagged under »atonement«

Called to Fall

March 12, 2013

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Half a year and most of a lifetime ago our world turned inside-out. With the passing of months, the thought of it still awakens a creeping paralysis in my gut, a dark void that yawns threateningly after us. I have to take hold of myself and shake myself free every time. Mike is gone. We failed. Last Fall, a […]

Does God Need Me?

October 23, 2012

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I sat doubled over in the temple dressing room stall sobbing quietly but uncontrollably, when suddenly I heard a frail voice wavering closer, “Sister Atkinson? … Sister Atkinson?” Quickly I swept my dress up and pulled my feet under me on my tiny perch, holding my breath and willing my shaking body not to give […]

Who Owns Our Success?

July 19, 2012

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Mr. Obama has a case of foot in mouth lately. Poor guy. I actually sympathize. Several years ago my oldest, who has taught me a lot about being a more humble human being, pointed out that I didn’t own either her successes or her failures. In utter exasperation one day, she said that she was […]

A Useful Illusion

May 27, 2012

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Cross-posted at Wheat and Tares. My dad is dead. He died the year before last. He lived for 68 years and he was cranky for a lot of it. When he died nobody was particularly sorry, including him. I know, because I was there. In the silence of the hospice room, after all our rushed […]

Birthing Hope

April 5, 2012

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I was invited to write a special article for Holy Week at MormonWoman.org – you can see it here. For my regular readers, I am also including it here. A wave of nausea washed over me as I felt the familiar tightening again, the groan rising silently in my soul: “here it comes.” Long minutes of pressure […]

Angry All The Time

April 2, 2012

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When I was a little girl, I was afraid of my Grandma. It wasn’t just that she had a shrill voice and worked like a steam engine, it was that she was potentially volatile. She would shriek at my grandpa, but he just ignored her. She gave me quite a spanking once for smacking my […]

You Had to Be There

April 23, 2011

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I laid on the floor of her bedroom and played with my granddaughter today when I was supposed to be putting her down for her nap. Her smile was transforming, her laugh made me feel like the world was right, and her eyes when they would search me out to grin assured me that we […]