Browsing All posts tagged under »death«

You Can’t Fix This

August 26, 2012


When I’m upset I clean. There is something calming about putting order to whatever chaos surrounds you to order your mind and heart. I’ve learned not to talk then, not just because I’m a whirling dervish, but because my evaluations are ill-formed, often baseless, and imprecise. While when rational I usually learn what I believe […]

A Useful Illusion

May 27, 2012


Cross-posted at Wheat and Tares. My dad is dead. He died the year before last. He lived for 68 years and he was cranky for a lot of it. When he died nobody was particularly sorry, including him. I know, because I was there. In the silence of the hospice room, after all our rushed […]

Across the Kitchen Table

May 25, 2011


I finally got the tomatoes transplanted from the solo cups today, Dad. They were almost two feet tall and rootbound a bit; I could just see you shaking your head. I’ll miss the smell of their leaves when I open the windows now, but they’re already flowering and need to be in the ground. I […]

Have a Little Faith

May 11, 2011


My sister is in the middle of a crisis. We’ve been best friends for decades, so her crisis is my crisis. Her son and eleventh child is in the pediatric intensive care unit in a hospital a thousand miles away from here and the most his doctors will say is that they are “cautiously optimistic.” […]

Passing Understanding

September 3, 2010


I’m sitting in a recliner in a hospice unit listening to my father breathe out the last bits of his life. The last three days have been a blur, with arrangements and realizations and coming to terms all wound together like a tapestry washed and dried before it was finished. Now, in the quiet of […]


July 28, 2010


I’ve been thinking all day about taking risks. My boys are on top of a mountain, which is a good thing for boys to do, under certain conditions, because it stretches them in all kinds of man ways. It’s also a big risk, because it seems every week someone falls off a mountain here and […]